Dear Me,
You need to let go of all this turmoil. You are playing in the wedding of a very nice lady in exactly one week, and you owe it to her to do a good job. This evening was an embarrassment. You are a better player than that. You have the ability to focus, and using all of the bullshit going on in your life as an excuse for why you can't pull your shit together is pathetic. Just let it go. Things have a way of resolving themselves in the end so you can't worry about whats going to happen for now. Quit feeling sorry for yourself and start practicing more. And not just "oh I did 5 measures thats good enough" practicing but actual efficient progressive practicing. Unless you want to experience that crippling feeling of humiliation and disappointment again I suggest you get your ass in gear. Also, you need to quit being so spiteful towards your boss. Yes he is an asshole but he is still a person and he does deserve a little respect. You do have a tendency to gossip and that does need to be kept in check. Yes it's a natural instinct but be mindful of it, and quit getting yourself in trouble for it. Don't fail me now.
Sincerely,
Your Mature, Responsible Side
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